Thanks, But No Thanks
There are so many ways to be ungrateful.
One way is to spell “thanks” with an X. “Thanx”, or worse “thx”, is a pleasant slap in the face for a nicety paid. A favor appreciated with a lazily abbreviated reply is a favor not soon repeated. I can’t be bothered to give you a proper “thank you”, and I fancy myself cute, so here’s an “X” to substitute for the pedestrian “ks”. Aren’t I just so precious? No. You’re a turd.
Being over-thankful is also a great insincere way to show gratitude. “Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for loaning me your pen.” You’re no longer welcome.
Under-thankful (when “thank you” feels more like “fuck you”): “Oh, hey thanks, man, for saving my life back there. That Thrashing Tractor would’ve totally killed me if you hadn’t pulled me out from under its thrashing blades. Later, dude.” Saving lives sure feels empty now. It’s almost as bad as when some kid’s mom tells him to thank you for the crappy gift you got him (because you have no idea what children like, because you really don’t care). “Thanks for the coffee mug, Uncle Joe.” “Well, I knew how much you liked cats, and this one says ‘Hang In There’.”
Finally, “Thanks in advance.” What presumption! What an utter sense of entitlement! “Thanks in advance” is the worst thanks offender. Not only is it an assumptive close (based on guilt, no less - I mean, you’ve already received your thanks, so you better do the thankless task so as not to appear rude), but it’s all the thanks you’ll get. No “job well done and a hearty thanks” after you’ve completed the likely unpleasant undertaking. No, you’ve already received your thanks. In advance.
Thanx for reading this blog, and thx in advance for all your future readings.
2 years ago