Midgets, Midgets, Everywhere
Since moving to Colorado over five years ago, I’ve seen an average of one midget per week. Usually it’s a new midget, but sometimes I have duplicate spottings. They might be “dwarves” or “little people” or “wee ones” or whatever PC term midgets are called nowadays, but no matter what you call them (me, I call them “midgets”), I see them everywhere.
Mostly I see them on 16th Street in Denver, in fact I’ve mostly seen them on 16th Street in Denver. I’ve seen enough to re-populate Oz (if you imagine that Oz needs re-population, and if you imagine we’re talking about the “Wizard of” and not the “HBO Original Series” Oz). They’re not hard to spot. They’re mostly on 16th Street in Denver and have big butts and oversized heads. They’re also really short and cop serious attitude when you try to pick them up.
So, if you ever need to find a midget (like if it’s the last item on a scavenger hunt list), Denver is the place to go, mostly on 16th Street. Look low.
Oh, and a word of warning, if you do try to pick them up, offer them a lollipop first. Midgets love lollipops almost as much as retards do.
2 years ago